Unexpected

Have you ever met someone in such a random way, but knew that they were sent there on that particular day, at that exact time, just for you? I do not believe in coincidences, so when a lady walked into the shop one day and we struck up a conversation I knew that she was someone special. Don’t get me wrong, I know tons of people with a heart of gold and am not trying to offend anyone. There was just something so genuine and pure about her spirit that she made a huge impression on me. Over the last couple months we started talking almost daily whether in person or social media…rather random things like pumpkin spice and hummingbirds ( 2 of my favorites). A couple mornings ago Ben checked the mail on his way in and handed me a card. I just love getting mail that doesn’t include me sending someone money. Let me back track before I go any further. The last couple weeks I have really struggled. It’s probably why I haven’t wrote much, why I have been so quiet around some of you. I have been mentally battling food. It may sound crazy, but food is an addiction. A short lived high that makes everything go away and you feel great for one brief moment before the regret kicks in. I work for my parents, a small family owned and operated Christian bookstore. Working for them has been a blessing that most would be shaking their head and running the other way saying nope ain’t happening. For me, it put me in a different environment, a completely different headspace than I have ever been in. With the internet shopping craze, the big brick and mortar stores closing…. I can only think of one word, pressure. I’m pretty sure I put some of it on myself, but my mind stays in work mode ALL the time because I can’t fail us. What can I do better, how can I get our name out there to reach new customers…or I need to redo that fixture and rotate out old with the new. We have recieved so much new merchandise that for days I was overwhelmed by all the boxes coming through the front door. The FedEx and UPS guys thought they were struggling carrying those boxes, well I was struggling to get it all in that I went without eating. I was coming in early to try to knock some of it out and was skipping breakfast. I wouldn’t have been so gung ho, but I had scheduled our Fall Open House for today. If you know me at all, I have a touch of OCD, I’m a perfectionist and I am a worrier. So all those emotions I have been carrying around brought me straight to the pantry after being hangry all day. I really was conscious of what I was doing, I guess that’s why it is so hard to describe. Have I slipped up? Yes. However, those guilty pleasures that I use to love so much tasted so bland and did nothing to ease my mind. I have been having a mental battle for a while now and keep thinking how can I try to encourage you to keep going when I just want to give up. First of all I never said it was easy. Second of all my sweet friend who sent that card hit the head on the nail. I haven’t even shared with her my feelings, yet she knew what to write to give me my confidence back to keep walking my walk. I would say run the race, but there is no running from me unless a coffee truck is somewhere close by. Today started out slow and the negativity crept in. Then that infectious smile popped through the door. She knew without me saying a word, gave me a hug and said let’s pray. Turns out it was a great day, you just have to say nope not today Satan and keep going. I guess my point is the most unexpected people will and can be your encouragement if you just let them and accept it. Don’t let your mind control your progress, you will hold yourself back from your true potential. I love you all and goodnight.