Solace

As I’m writing this the laundry is going, egg muffins baking and Criminal Minds in the background. It’s the first time I have sat down since I walked through the door. Ladies, Mommas, Noi Noi’s (Means MawMaw in Chase’s world) take time to rest. My only solace where my mind is not going is first thing in the morning. I sit on my porch or patio and drink my coffee, catch up on Facebook and enjoy some me time. That also means my alarm is set 30 minutes earlier and I sacrifice my beauty rest. That’s why my good friend Cindy gets my money, Mary Kay works wonders. Some of you may love your sleep, some may love to get lost in a book, whatever it is that lets you unwind and relax do it! There is nothing out of everything I will ever write that is more important than your mental health. This world zooms by us everyday. Right after my youngest was born I went into depression mode. My husband went to 24 hour shifts, I was home alone with a newborn, I was nursing and I felt smothered yet alone. It was the strangest feeling. It started affecting my marriage, my friendships, every aspect of my life. I then confided in my Momma who said, “It’s okay to ask for help”. I spoke with my doctor who gave me medication, that at first it was a relief to feel anything other than what I had been. Then I became numb, going through the daily motions but I couldn’t even tell you what was going on. Me deciding to lose weight, to change my eating habits, to focus on me… I don’t know but somewhere down the line I realized I had stopped taking my medication. My mind was clear, I could feel again and I was happy. Every pound I dropped, every inch lost gave me my confidence back. Gave me the motivation that I needed to keep going. My smile was genuine, my laughter came back, everything in the world seemed right again. Why? Because I had to learn to stop and take care of me. Whatever you can do to just have a few moments to yourself everyday make it happen. It will be your saving grace. It will give you the chance to make wise decisions throughout the day and not become so stressed you lock yourself in the bathroom and eat gelato (Which I’ve never done before 🙄). I pray that whoever is reading this, that when you stop for just moment and take time for yourself that you feel a peace you’ve never experienced.