Stress

Oh my word am I writing this with a heavy heart. For those of you new to my world, I live at the coast and what comes with living there…hurricanes. Last year I was rockin it; food prep, eating healthy, walking everyday and the pounds were dropping off like flies. Then Florence came and I had left and went back to my hometown. I have to give myself credit for being conscious of what I was eating, but I did splurge on biscuits and gravy on more than one occassion. Wouldn’t you if you were four hours away from your home, not knowing what to expect, leaving your husband behind to handle the chaos alone (Firemen are always on duty and never alone) but I digress. I came home to an uninhabitable house from water damage, that it was better for us to tear down and start over than to repair. So off to live at my parent’s for 6 months. It’s so hard living with others that don’t follow what you have been doing that it was often hard for me not to just throw in the towel, but I didn’t. I walked on occasion, no where near where I was. I ate a lot of salads and picked out the veggies from the meals prepared. It was a struggle. Sometimes I would dream of just having my own space and all the meals I would cook. In April we were finally able to have a place to call home. We have been here five months and I have tried so many of those recipes I had pinned while staying at Mom’s. Just getting settled into a good routine. Chase is finally sleeping well through the night in his new space (all the way across the house). Then one morning you wake up, fix your coffee, turn on the news and bam….a year has flown by and another “big” one is coming. I’m trying to remain calm, I’m trying to be prepared, I’m mentally building myself up to get through whatever is coming our way. When you are an addict all kinds of things can trigger an emotion to make you go back for more. For me that happens to be stress. I am just being honest that the last couple days I have had to reign myself in from gorging myself on food. I have had to stop and “shake” myself out of those thoughts. So today after cleaning and washing and all that good stuff to get my mind off of everything I decided to be a little more proactive and take a different approach. I meal prepped for Ben who gets to come home tomorrow and leave Tuesday morning indefintately. I used all our fresh veggies and made a pot roast in the crockpot. I’ve came up with meals that I can use what I have for the next couple days and drop the leftovers off at the station. I have to keep my normal routine, I have to keep keepin on or that dark hole called “stress” will pull me back in and all the hard work I’ve put in would be for nothing. Sometimes you have to stop in the middle of a food crisis and rededicate yourself to your commitments. So just take a deep breath and refocus your thoughts. I love you all for listening to my crazy mess and goodnight.